it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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