Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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