Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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