Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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