You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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