I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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