who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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