before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
