You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
