Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
