I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
