You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
