I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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