"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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