Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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