She went from zero to smokin in five shots
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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