So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
