Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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