She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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