I'm lost and stupid without you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
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We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
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stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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