He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
