No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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