I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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