Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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