the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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