actually, I'm a sock model
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
