is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
