I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize