At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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