...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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