Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I am morally bankrupt
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
