i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
