life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
