escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
