New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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