There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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