Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
