About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
