sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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