I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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