This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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