he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
