did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
