Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
