I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
