love makes seman taste better
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize