my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We are two peas in an std pod
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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