she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
