theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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