My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
