i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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