did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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