Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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