why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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